EDIT: Bleh.

Here is a list of all of my MSN Display messages I have saved in the status menu of Adium - Some of them are quotes, so I'll try to name the original sources when it's a quote.

Sorry I keep mentioning america o.o

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Empty skies of black and glitter, floating overhead. What a sight that makes you titter ... that's what she said.

If ye can't trust a pirate, ye bloody well can't trust a merchant. (Quote, can't remember who by)

The annoying thing about Microsoft Adverts: You spend five minutes watching them, and by the end, you're still trying to figure out what they're advertising.

Nothing breaks an awkward silence like suddenly grabbing the person you're facing and having a full-on game of toungue-tennis

°faces you° "Oh my god, I love you ..." °faces door° "you fucking sexy door you" °hugs door°

I like ike and his itty-bitty A-bomb - everybody's got one, I want mine. You can order it up on Channel 9. (Sisters of Mercy lyrics)

The American Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! Including such bands as The Who, The Rolling Stones, The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, and The Sex Pistols.

"Eat your food, it could have fed starving children in africa" - Translation: "Eat your food, before the starving african children get it!"

Is an angel watching closely over me? Could there be a guiding light I've yet to see? I know my heart should guide me, but there's a hole within my soul. (Shii Song lyrics)

"My, what big fingers you have!" "All the better to poke you with!" ... °poke°

Hugging ********Fuzz's Yet-to-be-evolved wings <3 (Reference to a friend's display message at the time)

Some disagreement between the republicans: Palin wants to ban books, but Bush thinks that the books are made wonderful by the pictures they contain.

So ... I heard you like Mudkips ... (meme)

Support the troops, by stopping the fighting that's killing them.

Why would Ling-Ling want to kiss hulk? ;_; (Drawn together quote)

I hate to blow my own trumpet ... but I will for £20 (Drawn together quote)

Note to self: At next party, try to avoid spending the whole night making out with someone I only just met that evening >.<

"How dare he say this music is crap! I spent a whole 30 minutes writing this song!"

If I had a girlfriend, I would hug her and squeeze her and name her George =D (reference to something, can't remember what)

The Twig: The Ninja's natural enemy.

Anonymous: You can't fight what you can't see.

Microsoft made a Mac vs PC ad where it basically says "Hi. I'm a pc, and I wear a suit and live in an office" ... fail lol

Will sick duck for quack!

Wait ... someone tell me how McCain can stand for president when the President has to be born in the US or it's territories and McCain was born in Panama?

The bible, correctly translated, states "You shall not lie with a man in the bed of a woman, it is frowned upon" ... doesn't say anything about the Sofa, the Floor, or the Kitchen table =D

Give a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day, but set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life =D (Often used quote, commonly attributed to Terry Pratchet)

Look up an artist called "thirty-six" on newgrounds, particularly "Mystery Meat"

A life without walls is a life without windows.

Anonymous delivers ... in less than 30 minutes or your money back ;)

People of today are too mollycoddled, especially in america ... time to whip out Watership Down =D

17 year old caucasion male for sale, likes listening to and writing music.

You make me happy in my pants =D (friend mike XD)

You have the body of an anime chick I'd say, and I'd let you fly my eva any day. And I'm the professor who's possessed by Demon Rage, but I'll try to keep my tentacles away! ( "angel of darkness" lyrics)

I think it's amazing how Black Americans, a minority that has been subjected and oppressed for centuries, can come together and oppress another minority. (see California banning gay marriage)

I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I'd love you to love me, I'm begging you to beg me. (Cheap Trick lyrics)

somebody, anybody, won't anybody find me somebody to love? (Queen lyrics)

If you murdered a schizophrenic, would that be one count of murder or multiple counts of murder?

What do you mean I burnt down that orphanage?! It was in self defense! That orphanage attacked me! You all saw it! (Looking For Group quote)

Oh, did you meet jim? Jim has this dog with the adorable walk and he also has a joke book that he was reciting, he was telling me this joke about the He raped me. (based on the idea of a flash on newgrounds somewhere)

Klu Klux Klan: You're worshipping a black jewish palestinian hippy. Wrap that around your tiny brains.

A world without walls is a world without Windows.

Introducing the 12th version of Microsoft Windows, Microsoft Windows 7! ... Microsoft can't even count up to 12 ...

What is both funny and disgusting at the same time? Bike-pump fetish.

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but whips and chains excite me. So throw me down and tie me up and show me that you like me. (girl on iSketch)

Why go out with a bang when your whole performance can be bangs? The 1812 overture.

Obamacat: Yes we can haz cheezburger!!

Only two people have succeeded in killing me, and even they didn't do it very well ... (Steven Fry quote)

A phrase I love but never get to use: "Gae'n tak a flen fuck"

Jesus walked on water, but Chuck Norris swam through land!

I have a bet going on with Budha to see who can get the most followers. So far, I'm winning, but it looks like he's going to overtake me D: (referencing the fact that I look like Jesus)

Ah! A hungry hungry hippy D:

Sarah's hair makes me think of doughnuts D: (sarah = a friend at school)

My pet rock pissed the carpet D:

Are you questioning your sexuality? Well stop questioning your sexuality and just go bi already!

Famous Last Words: "Don't worry everyone, this is completely safe"

Forever shall the beast in me desire the sheep in you ... wait ... isn't that just a really poetic way of saying "I'm going to eat you out"? (first part is Nightwish Lyrics)

I'm a surgeon. If I see two separate body parts, I sew them together and see what happens.

I'm thinking of getting some new speakers. There's a good pair that go up to 11, but there's this awesome pair that go over 9000! What to do? Up to 11 or blow up my head?

Everyone's got the hots for the scots (h)

"Going Underground" by The Jam, "Going Down" by Motörhead, "Electric Funeral" by Black Sabbath, with all these great songs, I just can't choose what to play at my funeral D:

thingy thingy shave? (reference to conversation with a friend)

Download speed: >9000

Looking for love, wherever it is ... probably somewhere in south-england ...

Got to love how the police describe all unidentified criminals as "youths" regardless of age or whether or not they've actually seen anything that could even hint at the age of the offenders.

If I say "I need a girlfriend/boyfriend", that -doesn't- mean I'm asking you out -.-

Making fun of people over the internet based on their skin colour, hair colour, clothes, or looks is like a deaf person criticising your taste in music.

To ale and wenches!

Well, thanks to the internet, I'm now bored with sex... (someone on the NG:BBS I think)

There's something impressive 'bout being manic depressive (36? lyrics)

What's black and white and red all over? S&M Penguin! =D

Shakespeare: For those who like just reading or watching a play, regardless of whether or not you can understand it.

Fuck the systsem! (google it)

Are you a Vegan? Do you wear Perfume? Well you're a pretty crappy vegan then ... (Perfume contains something called "Ambergris", which is taken from Sperm Whales)

You're a figment of my imagination! The least you could do is take your top off!

When you're drunk, all sorts of things that don't normally make sense suddenly clip into place!

I can't be racist, you humans all look the same to me!

Turn me on, dead man.

I'm not an alcoholic, I'm just passionate about paint remover D:

What a name, Angus Og xD (wiki him)

Sweet, sweet Satan Piss

Whiskey tastes like Satan Piss. Sweet, sweet Satan Piss

Scots always adds an edge to what you're saying: "Wi'za bonnie lassy like you doing in a shi' ol like this?!"

You know a drink's going to be one of those "Down it in a oner" drinks when the first ingredient is "a pint of absinthe"

Viva La Liberté Écossaise! ( "Long Live Scottish Freedom!" )

Kiss me, I'm Pirish!

Sometimes, I wish I was a girl just so I could screw up the minds of random internet people ...

Fuck.

The Internet: Where the men are men, along with the women!

Meow ...

No-one's allowed to make fun of anyone on the internet ... apart from the amish ... they're allowed to make fun of whoever they want, provided it's on the internet!

Incest: Fun for the whole family ... wait, what?

Bum. Ts. Bum. Ts. Bum. Ts. Bum. Ts. Bum. Ts. Bum. Ts. Bum. Ts. Bum. Ts. I'm a techno song D: (guy on newgrounds)

Let's have some pie! You can have a quarter, and you can have a quarter, and you, and you too, and let's not forget you! Wait, what the hell kind of a pie has 5 quarters?!

Any problem can be solved by promptly rocking out, really really hard. (reference to Dad's Home XD)

Turns out Bill Clinton has traced his ancestry back to Aberdeen ... at least that explains the white wooly hair.

"Trojan Magnum Large Condoms, 2 used and new from £7·99"

A pirate with a ship's wheel down his trousers walks into a pub. The barman asks "what's with the wheel?" The pirate replies "It be driving me nuts!"

I've found a fallout boy song called "pretty in punk", the same as one of my unfinished songs. I hereby dedicate my song to being the exact opposite of it.

"Is that a penis in your trousers or are you just pleased to see me?" (guy on newgrounds)

Random fact of the day: Male fruit flies generally only mate with female fruit flies, but will mount other male fruit flies when drunk. XD

It's not a good thing to be posh ...

MacGyver would feel right at home on Blue Peter.

Free for all, fuck 'em all, you are what you are inside.

I'm going to start referring to children as "kittens" ... that'll screw 'em up x3

Huh. I appear to have somehow got nutella on my elbow ...

Fuck fuck fuck.

Drunk enough to talk to random strangers I walk up to, sober enough to remember me name. (friend sarah, different sarah)

Admit it. You don't go on the internet for the culture. If you did, the culture shock would probably shove you into a closed pool full of over 9000 raped babies and cats with words attached to them.

Johnny go boom D:

"You can't polish a turd ... but you can coat it in gold and polish that" (guy on newgrounds, think it was a mod)

It would be a lot easier to no-be-evil if the good guys didn't leave so many big red buttons around to push! (webcomic, can't remember which one)

I am the cute, plushie, adorable puppy-eyes face of PURE PUTRID FUCKING EVIL ... <3

My coffee tastes like pure joy and happiness now, smothered in wonderment and sprayed over with fun, laughter, and love ... but it leaves an aftertaste like pickled onions 3:

Problem with Ninja Metal concerts: Even if you go to the gig, you'll never seen the band(s) ... literally.

Hip Hop/Rap is a genre of music I don't care much about, where as Modern Hip Hop/Rap is a shiny golden crap

God did say unto Adam; "Go forth, and multiply", to which Adam, oh so wittily counter with "No, YOU go fuck yourself!"

We should bring America into the Eurovision ... that way, The UK won't be the lowest scoring country =D

Anime eyes with a golden soul, memories that make me lose control ... :\

I find it slightly odd/funny/ironic (delete as appropriate) that americans tend to use the websites of british news sources (BBC, Daily Mail, etc.) over american ones, even for news that originates from america.

People who refuse to use contraception for moral reasons, but use the rhythm method are pretty much missing the point of not using contraception ...

Americans who refuse to ban guns: That doesn't mean just giving the average joe a gun to protect themselves with, it also means giving all the psychopaths, murderers, hitmen, children, Gangsters, EVERYONE an easy-to-use lethal weapon.

"Is it just me or does this mic make my singing sound like crap?" "It's just you - it's your crappy singing voice that's making your singing sound like crap"

The problem with Microsoft's advertising: You watch them and the only thoughts they give you are along the lines of "What does this have to do with anything that microsoft does? Or, in fact, what does it have to do with anything?"

When was the last time you saw a Ninja with Wenches? (h) (google it :P)

I don't abuse alcohol irresponsibly ... I abuse alcohol very responsibly.

Vista: Making life more difficult since 2007 ... even for those not using it.

Oh look ... a nuance ... (dad)

My only drinking problem is that my head doesn't fit in the glass. (a lolcat XD)

How is babby formed? D:

Pro: I'm pitch perfect. Con: I have a truly crap singing voice.

International women's day: Creating social equality by promoting pro-feminist sexism.

precious pineapples, batman! sweet mother of ghost, batman! HOLY FUCKING SHITNIPPLES, BATMAN! ... what?

I can has girlfriend? I'll hug her and squeeze her and name her George =D (reference to something, can't remember what)

Oxymorons that have wriggled their way into modern usage: "Microsoft Works", "Pop Punk", and "iWork" (h)

My leg muscles are huge o.o I mean freakishly huge o.o

I'm not fat, I'm just fluffy 3: (lolcat)

im in ur noun, verbing ur related noun ;3 (wikipedia XD)

°verb verb verb°

"moo"? "MOO"?! WHAT THE HELL KIND OF A ZEBRA GOES "MOO"?!

"Wait, how can it be Tuna Pasta Salad if it's vegetarian?" "There's no tuna in it" "so it's just pasta salad?" "well, it's not a salad" "...so it's just pasta? Sounds like a fun meal" (conversation with dad)

"So, how was your day?" "Same as usual" "Can you be more explicit?" "Same as fucking usual"

'Coz she's got a tartan skirt, black shirt, what a flirt, she's dirt, let me just say she's pretty in punk. (... my lyrics)

A man tried to sue the taxi companies recently for discrimination against disabled people. However, it fell through - the evidence couldn't stand up in a court of law.

How to become a singer-songerwriter. Step 1: Write a song. Step 2: Sing the song. You are now a singer-songwriter.

Why does my house have a nose? D: (reference to a conversation with a friend, ainsley)

(8)Tulibu Dibu Douchoo(8) (google it XD)

Barbarians meet Ghosts! It's Visigoths vs Invisigoths!

Going off to bomb school and become an hero, brb. (reference to Sirtom's thread)

hmm ... wickerman ...

Supporters of Tasers explain death by taser as being caused by "excited delirium", which means that the recipients of the taser shock get enter a state of ecstasy and well being so strong, vivid, and orgasmic that it kills them. Can you spell "Naïvety"? (ok, most people can't, but still)

Something I despise about american comedy is the need to blatantly interrupt sentences to point out a joke every time a joke has even the slightest ounce of subtlety.

We don't stop having fun because we grow old, we grow old because we stop having fun. To live fast, die young, become an aging rock-star, and advertise butter ;) (reference to the fact that Johnny Rotten is now advertising Country Life Butter)

Don't worry guys, THE INTERNET IS HERE! (RIG <3)

Most definitely, it is.

The word "Wales" is derived from the descriptive name for it's people, The Welsh. (The opposite way that country names and ethnic group names usually develop) "Welsh" is a collective name for "Foreigners" in the certain ancient languages. In ancient times, when the european word still revolved mostly around Rome (although when it was in decline), the name was used by Germanic and Celtic tribes in cross-cultural communication with the Romans to describe all celts and germanic tribes that were not themselves. This word was adopted by the Romans who used it to describe all celtic and germanic tribes who were not roman, and slowly became more and more specific to the Celtic tribes from southern Britannia. When the Saxons, and later the Angles invaded what is now England (have difficulties in advancing into modern day wales), this displaced all of the people who in the areas who had previously been known as Welsh by the Romans, meaning that Wales was now the only place in the world in which it's inhabitants were known as the Welsh. This name persisted through centuries and was passed back from the romans to the Angles and Saxons. The anglo-saxon difficulties in conquering modern day wales combined with the definition of all of those people that had remained unconquered by them in modern day england as "welsh" created a border between the welsh lands and the anglo-saxon lands, creating Wales.

So in short, a modern day translation for Wales would be "Not Italy" ... I can't help be reminded of Bladrick's definition of "Dog"

On sundays, I go to buy rolls in a nearby convenience store.

Today, I went in and there was an obviously over-weight man standing talking to the guy who runs the shop. He was wearing a pair of jeans, designers trainers, and one of those puffy sports jackets. He was talking with a raised voice in an incredibly strong american accent to the store owner, almost constantly saying "shit" and "hell", complaining about how you're not allowed to own a lethal weapon here (throwing in complaints about how his grandfather was a world war 2 veteran and how he owns 48 guns "back home" no less than 5 times) or allowed to buy alcohol to sell or pass on to minors.

...

To be honest, I don't think that many people who fit the american stereotype do live in america ... they all come here and complain about how it's "shit" here and how you can't get an "all american cheeseburger" here, further renewing and strengthening the stereotype.

opening a fortune cookie ... hmm ... "The life values, easily mislead for oneself" ...

... wise ... very interesting ...

... what the hell does that mean?!

And on the banner: "Eargasm" is the name I plan on releasing music under once I have vocals added and/or I start I release I CD. (different name since it won't just be me, it'll be me + a vocalist)

Admittedly, I'm not a big gamer, and not much of a fan of CAD. But I still never thought I'd see a countdown reference on any gamer merch or internet-culture related products.

From Ctrl+Alt+Del

I present to thee, thine commandments in two:

1: Thou shalt be good.

2: If thou canst be good, thou shalt be lucky.

So my melodyne plugin came today ... which means I'll start recording tracks with vocals once my vocalist is free ^_^

First one will be Broken Star, but I probably won't be able to put that up here due to the file size restriction.

Until then, to the notebook to write lyrics and also finish Evisceration Nation! (punk)

In other news, I have 2 weeks of study leave ... all my prelims were in the first four days ...

A confirmation email from CDBaby.com for my purchase of the AstroNinja CD "Kiss My Astro" ... fun times :P slightly censored to leave out my address, email, etc.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

From: CD Baby loves Chris <orders@cdbaby.com>
Subject: Chris - Your CD Baby Order!
Date: 31 December 2008 20:02:46 GMT
To: <My Email Address>
Reply To: orders@cdbaby.com

Chris -
Thanks for your order with CD Baby!

YOUR SHIPPING NOTES:
Please wrap in something a dog can't bite through. Please post
through letterbox if no-one is home.

WHERE YOU HEARD OF:
NewGrounds. I like 2 out of 3 of the songs AstroNinja has up there
and that's good enough for me.Physical Items in this order:

=== Shipped Items ===
** Shipped on 2008-12-31: **
1 of ASTRONINJA: Kiss My Astro! ($11.99 each)
***************

=========================

SHIPPING: $6.84
GRAND TOTAL : $18.83 - US Dollars

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with
sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure
it was in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over
the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money
can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party
marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of
Portland waved "Bon Voyage!" to your package, on its way to you, in
our private CD Baby jet on this day, Wednesday, December 31st.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year." We're all
exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Sigh...